"The thoughts of her mom make her happy."
Several weeks ago, a federal judge in Arkansas blocked the state’s attempt to ban most abortions after 12 weeks into a pregnancy. Becky’s mom is now 15 weeks pregnant. This decision gave her an option.
While waiting to be called, it feels as if time were standing still. She steps outside to get some air. While closing her eyes, she lifts her head to the sky and prays.
It’s early in the morning. Becky slowly stretches as she awakes from her sleep. She feels peaceful and refreshed. Sunlight breaks through the window and covers the foot of the bed. Becky sees dust in the light, and watches it dance in poetic form.
She walks outside and is greeted by the sound of birds and a gentle breeze. The grass beneath her feet is cool and inviting.
Becky closes her eyes and starts to daydream.
I hear music and laughter. It’s my 8th birthday – I am having my party at the skate rink. My friends Julie, Hannah and Linda are here. I sit with Mom as she helps me with my skates. With her soft hand, she brushes the hair out of my eyes and says, “Happy birthday, doodle-bug. Have fun!”
I’m terrified. I don’t skate well – not at all. I look at Mom and quietly say, “I’m afraid to fall.” With a big smile on her face, Mom says, “So am I!"
She grabs my hand and we go onto the floor – together. We shake and stumble all the way around. But we never fall. “I won’t let you fall, doodle-bug.” Mom says. “I won’t ever let you go.”
I smell hot, apple pie - my first Thanksgiving. It’s so nice and warm inside my baby blanket. Mom holds me close to her heart. I look up, deep into her eyes and hear her sing:
“Sleep my angel, sleep away. I will never turn away.”
“My love for you will never die. I will never say goodbye.”
Becky opens her eyes and smiles. The thoughts of her mom make her happy. Becky looks along the neighboring field - humming that sweet song. She sees the long prairie grass, slowly dancing in the gently breeze.
Across the field, there are many others enjoying the day. Becky walks toward the field then stops. She begins feeling odd, almost out of place – like living in a dream.
In the field, Becky sees a man walking toward her. As he approaches, the man starts waving frantically. He is tall, dark, and full of energy. The man reaches Becky with a big, contagious smile.
“Hello. What a beautiful day!”
Becky gleefully answers, “Why yes sir, it is!”
The man looks very familiar. Very much so – like an old friend.
While looking across the grassy field, Becky describes her feelings as the man listens. “I’ve been having thoughts of me and Mom – happy memories. The memories seem so real, but also distant, like in a dream.”
As the gentle breeze blows - softly kissing her face, she smiles and continues, “It feels like forever since I’ve seen Mom - I miss her. I want to hear Mom sing so badly.”
With warm, understanding eyes, the man looks at Becky. “Your memories are what should have been, but will never be.”
He takes her hand and quietly says, “Your mom let you go. Before you were born, she asked for my help but decided to choose her own path.”
Back on that cool, fateful day in Arkansas, Becky’s mom had an abortion. Becky never had a chance to live the life she was meant to have. Her mom thinks about it often and sometimes wonders what life would be like with Becky in it.
She will never know.
Becky and the man are standing together, looking across the field of grass. It feels as if time were standing still. Becky starts to cry. “I don’t understand.”
With a deep sigh, the man says, “Your mom didn’t want you - but I do.”
Becky’s heart begins to ache. The man turns to Becky in a most loving way.
“I know every hair on your head, every tiny little bit of you, which makes you who you are. I know what you could have been but were never given the chance to be. You are everything to me.”
With a soft hand, the man wipes the tears from Becky’s eyes. “No more tears, doodle-bug. Long ago, I suffered and cried, so you would never have to.”
Sad and confused, Becky looks deep in the man’s eyes. Her soul begins to swell with love and joy.
“Your song is in my heart, Becky. My love for you will never die. I will never say goodbye.”
Becky closes her eyes and lifts her head to the sky. The spirit of the Lord fills her soul. Becky leaps into the arms of the One who created her – the One who truly loves her.
Hand in hand, Jesus and Becky walk across the field. With a big smile, Jesus shares some joyful words.
“My Father will be very happy to see you!”